Confessions (16)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2017-09-11 05:50 ID:zc2iUsB1 [Del]

First of all I apologise for this post, but I need to release my feelings in a private and anonimous way. Some people write a diary, but that would ultimately identify myself. I don't expect any reply, and if you delete this post I'll understand it.

To summarise, I feel I am a failure. True, cademically speaking I'm an average person, but apart from that I'm a failure. I don't know how to do the most basic domestic chores, and my logical thinking ability is deeply impaired (and no, it's not due to mental development problems).

I can't say I'm deppresed all the time, but I am most of it. I almost have no friends, and I know that I can't tell this to the few ones I have because they wouldn't take this seriously. They would say that what I should do is change, but I feel unable to do so. I don't know why. It's like a fricking vicious circle.

I've been contemplating suicide. I, of course, would like it to look like an accident, as I don't want my parents to worry. I have no guns at home. I've tried water intoxication, and I'm still alive. I got to the point where I had seizures, although I don't remember anything. I was taken to hospital, and they at first found sympthoms of hyponatremia (low levels of sodium) but then couldn't, and thought that they hadn't done the analisis correctly.

Now I don't know what to do. I've been like this for months now. I've also tried smothering myself with a pillow, but eventually it was too unconfortable to keep going.

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